Really, really long post (because I'm behind)

For this blog post, I will be talking about two different topics. The first will be about Landon White’s visit to our class.

I think the thing that stuck with me the most about Landon’s presentation to our class was about how he was trying to make his classroom as paperless as he could. I thought this was a fascinating idea. I think the only problem I would have with this is that there would be no permanent record to keep on file. But that can easily be solved by printing out the important completed assignments.  I really was intrigued by Edmodo.  I think this is a wonderful concept and I like how the students cannot message each other on the site.  However, you know you’re getting old when the thought of learning how to work and run a new site is a little more than overwhelming.  I really enjoyed all the presenters we’ve had to date, because they all have something new to show us. 

Paperless

The second topic of today’s post is the Cultivating Empathy/Cyber-bullying workshop.

When I signed up for the workshop, I had no idea how heavy the content of the workshop was going to be. I knew it was about bullying, but for some reason, I didn’t really think about it. So I was completely blown away by my reaction. I was okay for the first five minutes, but after that, it was a struggle to keep myself calm and composed.  

In grade 5, I had a bully. But we didn’t have the internet then, and I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been if the internet was around in those days. At least then, I could go home and forget about it. My bully was a boy who had failed a couple of times, so he was three years older than me (because I was promoted in the middle of my Grade 3 year, I was already a year younger than everyone else). Let’s call him “Moose”. 

When we watched the video about the young man who was being bullied by that girl, I could really relate. The reason that Moose hated me was because I was smart. While I wasn’t really a teacher’s pet (another boy in my class had that position) he would imply that our teacher was my boyfriend, and would just in general make my life miserable. I hated it. I did not want to go to school because he would get the other students in my class to tease me. The only good days I had were the days when he was absent, because then everyone would treat me normally. 

It’s scary when I think back on how much power he had over my classmates. I think he was mean to everyone, but for some reason, he just picked solely on me. It got to the point where he would shove me against the lockers and try to choke me in the hallway. I never let anyone know how far he was starting to go. Grade five was the worst year ever for me. But it got better because he left our community. He did come back in grade 8, and by then, I had my own little group of friends and was well-liked and accepted by everyone. However, when he came back, I remember the terror I felt when I saw him walk into my classroom. To make it worse, the teacher assigned him to my table, where he proceeded to talk about how much it was so fun to tease me when we were kids.  He seemed to talk about it as if it was something we both enjoyed and participated in. As if I had consented to and accepted his ridicule. My heart hammered in my chest the whole time he sat there, talking and laughing as if we were old friends. I wanted to lash out at him. I wanted to let all that pent up terror roar out of me. I wanted him to hurt for what he had made me endure. But I didn’t do anything. And I know now, that if I ever saw him again, the same feeling of terror and rage would return. If I ever get the chance to run into Moose again, I hope that I will confront him.

My bully, Moose, waiting in the shadows so he can charge me.

I really feel sorry for kids who are bullied today. My son was bullied a little a couple of years ago, and I chose not to interfere, just because I remembered how bad it got whenever my parents tried to intervene on my behalf. I’m glad I didn’t do anything, because my son stood up for himself (not fighting by the way. I never condoned fighting…except when he had to defend himself I told him) and he does have a healthy self-esteem now. I have no doubt that it was because he stood up for himself and got the bully to stay away from him. He’s got a good circle of friends, and he hasn’t yet had another case of bullying. Maybe the fact that he’s the same height as me now has something to do with it. If you didn’t know what a big teddy bear my 12-year-old was, you would be intimidated I think. I work with my kids all the time about accepting differences in others and seeing the good in everyone. Even when my son was being bullied, I would talk to my son about why he thought his bully was a bully. We would have talks about this all the time, and eventually, my son just stood up for himself. The bully has since then left him alone. 

I know that when I become a teacher, I will try to cultivate empathy in my students. There are so many ways that we can teach that bullying is not acceptable. And I was really truly amazed when during the presentation, we were told that it only takes a bully (when confronted) an average of 10 seconds to back down. We never quite know why people become bullies, and there can be a wide array of reasons, but the most important things we can do is to teach our students to become “upstanders” and not “bystanders”.

Photo Credits (In the order they appear): soilbedust, Grant Cochrane, & puttsk